Phoebe Defends the Donald

After deciding a few days ago she would like to major in communications, our high school senior Phoebe was thrilled to see her work in the Chicago Tribune. She wrote:

Dear Amy:

I read your column every day and I was shocked to see your opinions on Donald Trump. He and Melania are very happy together, and if they want to be married, then shame on you for criticizing them.

I very much look up to Mr. Trump and everything he has accomplished. And maybe you haven’t noticed, but Melania isn’t exactly a "patient, leggy blond" as you called her. Putting any famous person down in a newspaper is really a bad idea; people are bound to disagree with you.

This time, you went too far.

– An aspiring blond

Amy answered:

Dear Aspiring: You are correct. Melania Trump is not a patient, leggy blond. She is a patient, leggy brunet. I stand corrected. I was somewhat blinded by Mr. Trump’s previous platinum-wife choices.

I don’t have anything against Donald Trump, mind you. What started as a throwaway comment in my column has gained some steam and turned into a celebrity thrashing, which is the only kind of thrashing that is any fun at all.